"Motherhood is an early retirement position. Your children do grow up."
--Colleen Parro, PBS interview
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I don't really like the term, "stay-at-home" mom. To "stay" implies that one stands still and does nothing...just sits all day at home. I would hope, anyway, that this is not the job description of stay-at-home moms. What about work-at-home. Or love-at-home. Or go-go-go-at-home. Or go-slap-crazy-some-days-at-home. Anything but stay-at-home...
Being a stay-at-home mom wasn't in the thought banks for me until I was college-age. I had never even entertained the idea until then. It wasn't anything I was familiar with or saw people doing. I probably would have said something similar to the phrase above, which seems to be a popular opinion in our culture.
Right about the time I met my husband, however, I was involved in an all girls bible study in which we were reading and discussing the book,
Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free, and its implications from THE book - God's Word. It was the first time I pondered my motives for "working" (outside the home...as if working inside the home isn't work). Fast forward to our time in Memphis when the Lord revealed to me more of His desires for women from the book of Titus:
"
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5
Notice that the scripture says "
working at home." It does not say "watching reruns of 'Days of our Lives' while snacking on bon bons and paying no mind to the needs of others while the world passes you by."
Does that mean working outside the home as a woman is a sin?
No.
That would be 'extra-biblical' to come to that conclusion. And that's not what God said. Read the scriptures, not the sinners who misconstrue them (myself included).
I think of my good friend, Heidi, who is joyfully serving her husband (husband being primary over children) by providing for her family while he writes his dissertation and applies for doctoral teaching positions, with the hope of returning to the home once he finds work. I think of countless others who are working outside the home but
specifially in roles that allow for more time and flexibility with their husbands and children... so that their husbands and children come first. Husbands and children first. Work after. If outside work can be done without neglect of the first two priorities, then amen! If it can't, it's gotta go. And for that reason, I said goodbye to being an art teacher because, for me, it would most certainly conflict with my keeping Matthew and William first priorities. If you know how I teach - or should I say, how teaching takes over my life and I would typically leave when the night cleaning crew would arrive - you understand.
That being said, the Lord gives us all innumerable gifts that He wants us to use for His glory. He never intends for us to use "staying at home" as an excuse to not exercise our gifts and talents for the sake of the Kingdom.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good." 1 Cor. 12:7
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31
In summary, here is the call to ladies...
Prioritize! Joyfully love God by walking in obedience to His commands for you, which (ironically) are the very rules that set you free.
"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world..." 1 John 5:3-4
...Love the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart, soul, mind, strength (Mark 12:20) ...Submit to and serve your spouse ...Serve your children and train them up in God's Word so that, when they are older, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6) ...
then consider if working outside the home is something you can do while keeping these priorities in line.
How will we know God's will for us in the matter? Good thing He left us this giant book that contains His revealed will for us...which ultimately is to love Jesus and become more like Him! Isn't that pretty awesome? That we can know our ultimate purpose in life? We can pray and ask God to reveal His desires for us while also getting into that awesome book (basically, don't just ask and then not read His revealed will for us in His book).
"You do not have because you do not ask God." James 4:2
My prayer is that this posting would be served to enlighten and encourage other women in the truths the Lord has been gracious to reveal to me on this journey towards being a "not-so-stay-at-home"... mom.
Now, for some comic relief...
