Five Years

Then.

Take a good look at us now.

I've got my shoulders covered feeling embarrassed and immodest by the appearance of shoulders along with some way-too-curled-under bangs from the humidity while Matthew sports a crew cut and a dental pin.  No crazy sideways or convoluted poses going on in that photo either.  There's even the day's date displayed in the bottom right corner - for good measure.  We delicately place one hand on the nape of the other one's back for the pleasing picture.  All the while giving second glances to the cell phone receiving updates from the babysitter.  It's official... we are parents.

And we love it.

As of this Saturday, December 15th, Matthew and I will have been married a whole five years.  This milemarker has caused me to reflect - even more-so - on all that God has brought us through during that time and the many blessings that have followed.

It's also caused me to wonder when was that moment when I just knew he was the one... because I'm finding that, in a marriage, the learning never stops.  How did I know then before knowing all the things that I know now?  What made me so certain, and willing to place the-rest-of-my-life on that decision.  Was it something he said?  Something in particular that he did?  Or a combination?  Or the fact that I didn't have to ask those questions?  Where does one find the balance between having certainty and having faith?  Obviously I'm in love with the guy, but that's a huge decision for anyone! 

These thoughts led me to write another song for him for our anniversary.  But I won't share the title or lyrics until he hears it.  ::sorry::  I'll probably be doing you a favor, though, as I am not a songwriter and don't even have guitar chords for this one.  So it's a capella style.  (awkward?)

My crazy thought is that somehow this non-songwriter will continue to write a song every other anniversary or so... and maybe one of these days there will be enough for a (really cheesy) family CD.  The goal is that this (hilariously bad...but well-intended) CD would NOT be used as blackmail for the rest of my life, but it would instead be a gift to our children and children's children of something that's less and less valued in our culture - covenant marriage.  My hope is that it would be a tangible way for them to see us loving each other in a way that's not just through slobbery kisses and gobbledygook, although I'm not opposed to that.  I'm also not opposed to Taylor Swift discovering me and asking me to be her opening act.  I digress...

Lessons
There are many lessons the Lord has taught me in the past five years.  One thing I've learned is that marriage a partnership, and each partner has a responsibility to the other... remembering them in prayer, being an encourager, being a listener, being a forgiver, being a friend.  And that this is best done proactively rather than reactively.

Another thing I've learned is that we are guaranteed to continue learning/growing/changing, so it's important to grow closer together rather than further apart.  How do you do that? I think it's by looking at the same goal.  And the only goal Who won't disappoint is Christ.

Hands down, when one or both of us is not seeking Christ - whether that be through bible study or prayer or communicating with each other about all of that - our marriage is headed nowhere fast.  Of course it's important to value other things each other values whether that be a sport the other one is into, a hobby, or maybe a fun tv series.  They are just secondary. We are finding the most joy and stability in our marriage when we are both looking to Christ and sharing that with each other.  2 Corinthians 3:18 points out this truth that those who behold God's glory "are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another...this is from the Spirit." 

Now, if I may take a moment to just share what I love about Matthew....

I love that he willingly cleans up dishes, is polite and kind, makes even crazier noises playing with William than I do, tells me the truth, says "I love you" a lot, calls and texts when he's away, laughs at my jokes, holds me when I'm sad, snuggles, walks around the house in pajama pants and fancy loafers (sorry, babe), tells me I look pretty when I feel it the least, likes who I am-the good and the bad, tries new things, really really listens and understands, patiently waits for me, doesn't have game but is sweet to the core, loves books and is just now starting to rub off on me, dances with me in the kitchen, take on my struggles as his own, and holds my hand.  I love that we're both not perfect, but that together we can embrace Christ for His perfection.

I love you, Matthew!